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Thursday, January 17th 2008

5:54 PM

Mitch is no friend to families



Article from DitchmitchKY and  BluegrassRoots 


This is a wonderful email received from Heather Ryan and her 12-year old daughter Heaven Chamberlain describing their encounter with our lovely senior Senator. I thought Paducah was your base, Mitch?

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If you've received this e-mail, it is because I think you are cool and will enjoy this killer story of my day.  Sure, it's a long read, but Gone with the Wind would not have been such a great book in the condensed version!  Take a moment to read this bad boy - you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you were me … 

The best way to describe the experience might be "exhilarating and terrifying all rolled into one moment of time".  As I prepare for bed this 15th day of January, 2008, I look back and realize that I have just finished what truly has been the most bizarre political day of my life.  Making this statement is no small feat, since I have been politically active since age 10, majored in Political Science and lived worked and played in both the nation's political hubs; Des Moines, IA and Washington, DC. 

The day started out simple enough.  I woke to the hungry cries of my four month old, prepared for work and got on the road.  As I promised my 12 year old, Heaven, that she could join me on the day's adventures if she scored 100% on last week's spelling test, she was in tow for a day of work and a quick protest of Senator Mitch McConnell's re-election campaign swing through our fair city of Paducah.  There's something about that kid, she just loves a good protest. 

The protest went as expected.  My daughter and I froze our collective asses off with about a dozen other "Ditch Mitch supporters" outside the Irvin Cobb hotel for an hour before Mitch's posse arrived and the thirty seconds it took for McConnell to sprint from his SUV into the hotel's side entrance.  Amid the dozen of us were three of his pushing, shoving and overtly rude cronies who toted out "6 more years" signs about three minutes before Mitch pulled up in his Tennessee plated rental car.  Sure, we got the whole event on video tape.  Mitch pulling up, Mitch getting out, a few yells from the peanut gallery - you know, the annoying stuff like, "Mitch let us talk to you" - those damned demanding constituents!  The party broke up pretty quickly after Mitch ducked into the Irvin Cobb, low income housing unit (he was giving a speech to the well off Lion's Club members in the meeting room, not making a photo op for the less fortunate living in the only housing they can afford). 

After we thawed out our fingers, toes and butts during a fine Chinese fast food lunch, Heaven and I headed back to the grind at the Independent Movie Theater in which I'm the Executive Director, The Maiden Alley Cinema.  Little did I know the turn of events that were about to unfold……

As we pulled up, we ran into fate - also known as the Executive Director of the River Heritage Museum, Julie Harris.  The River Heritage Museum, The Maiden Alley Cinema and the Seaman's Church share a beautiful, historic building in downtown Paducah.  We have a little collective use agreement which allows all of our non-profit organizations to use the lobby and movie theater during different times of the day/week/year.  Julie then informs me that a certain Senator will be paying a visit to her fine establishment in just a little bit and that I should thank my lucky stars for such a fabulous Senator since his pork projects are what built the theater (gag - that's so not true!).  This was a revelation to me.  When did they schedule this visit and why was I not informed? 

My mind was racing a mile a minute.  What would I say to the Senate Minority Leader should the chance present itself?  Should I remain in my professional capacity as an Executive Director most assuredly should?  Or, should I speak my mind and find out why the hell he still backs this cluster f*ck war and president?  So much to contemplate, with such little time.  What to do, what to say, would I lose my job, would I look unprofessional, would his security people tackle me and torture me by sucking up spit streams from their mouths just to let them dangle millimeters from my lips and sucking them back up again?  The possibilities were endless.  Then, it dawned on me - I didn't have to do anything, I could simply put the kid up to the dirty work.  Hell, that's why we have kids - to make them do all the crap to which we are too cowardly to own up.  I could have her ask the Senator what was on her mind, then if he dogs her, not only is he an asshole for dissing a 12 year old, but I could get it on camera!  SCORE! 

So we waited.  In my office, we watched as his security crew eyeballed us and checked all the entrances, exits and bathrooms.  We waited and tried to play some 007 spy games with his crew to figure out how we could corner Mitch so Heaven could ask him her question.  Then, the camera crew showed up.  All the way from Nashville, a professional camera crew arrived, ready to shoot a campaign commercial - IN MY THEATER!  They began setting up their lights, boom mikes and killer digital cameras in two places, the lobby of my theater and outside the front door of the River Heritage Museum.  Unbelievable!  Who was this prick who just barges into arguably one of Western Kentucky's most vocal Yellow Dog Democrat's place of employment and decides to shoot a campaign commercial by the concession stand where she, a Theater Manager and three part time employees eek out a meager existence by schlepping popcorn and soda on the weekends?  What nerve, what balls, what incredible ignorance to put me in such a beneficial position!  My God, could I ask for a better or more bizarre scenario?  Hell No! 

The minutes changed to hours and it was kicking 5:00 in the ass.  No Mitch.  We waited ever so impatiently with butterflies in our stomachs, sitting in my office, watching the entrance to the theater from the River Heritage Museum, waiting for him to emerge from his meetings with the Mayor and other politicos.  Then, 5:00 comes along and the Museum closes the gate that leads to my theater lobby.  Damn!  I reason it out; He must not have been planning to film in my lobby - a bunch of other folks went in there and they must have done a "Mitch got me all this great crap" kind of "B-Real" for his commercial.  So I tell Heaven, grab your stuff, we're going to stake him out in front of the Museum.  We close and lock my office door.  We run out to my total P.O.S. Plymouth Lazer and with the deafening squeal of a fan belt screeching, we sprint around the corner of Kentucky Avenue to the front of the River Heritage Museum.  There it is, Mitch's white  SUV with the Tennessee plates.  The camera crew is packing up their gear as they have apparently finished their gig in front of the Museum.  So we park the screeching beast and pile out of the car with our video camera in tow, determined to let Heaven ask Mitch her question as he leaves the museum 

Seconds turn to minutes and our fingers are once again feeling the pain of the cold.  McConnell's security team emerges from the museum, they look at us and I ask if Heaven can "have her picture made with the Senator when he comes out (I even adjusted my vocabulary for this one - having a "picture made" seems to be a very Western Kentucky thing to say, so I went for it!).  They ignored us and went back inside.  I figured they must have recognized me from earlier in the day or perhaps they had been briefed by the ED of the museum on my crazy Democratic antics.  More time passed, then one of the part time employees appears from the door and asks why we are filming.  Now I'm embedded, we've become entrenched in this guerilla operation so I utterred the dreaded phrase again, "We were hoping to have Heaven's picture made with the Senator as he leaves"; to whence the part time employee proclaims, "Oh, the Senator is Gone, he left".  My head's spinning - gone - how the hell did he get out?  He would have had to have walked past my office to get out of the building.  Plus, his SUV and security detachment is still here.  Hmmmm, I think she's lying to us!  Damn my instincts - I was right!  More minutes pass and I tell Heaven, they're lying to us girl, he wouldn't leave without his handlers, no freaking way.  A few more minutes pass, now the pain of the cold is searing through my fingers as they freeze to my rolling video camera.  The part timer peeks out of the window on occasion so we step back a few feet so she can't see us from her vantage point in the museum.  Then, she opens the door, peeks out again and says some crap about, "I'm looking for a couple of photographers …" Uh, right.  Whatever.  Obviously a ploy to stake out our position once again.  By this time, I was determined that if the Senator had indeed left, we were going to follow his detachment to the fund-raiser to which he was scheduled to speak and confront him there; slippery bastard.  Not two minutes after Ms. Part Timer staked us out, McConnell's driver emerges, ducks into the SUV and peels out like a mad man.  We're on the move!  Heaven and I jump into the beast, knowing that this guy is heading toward the BACK entrance of the museum, which just happens to be the FRONT entrance of my theater!  With whom did this fool think he was toying?  I knew the lay of the land far better than some Senator who only visits when it's election year and folks are paying $250.00 a couple to chit chat.  Heaven and I drive the wrong way a half block up the one-way Broadway Avenue into the Maiden Alley and cut off his security staffer! SCORE!  I ROCK!  We swing a U-Turn into a parking spot in the alley and jump out of the squealing beast.  Who would ever have believed it, McConnell is shooting his friggin political commercial in my lobby!  Camera crews are rolling film, political donors are kissing ass, McConnell is pretending to care what these folks are saying while he smiles for the camera.  Heaven and I make our way down the alley and begin filming him from outside the very theater at which I'm the Executive Director.  Heaven waves to her Senator and sings, "Hi Mitch McConnell" which alerts his security team to our crazy shenanigans of filming our Senatorial Representative, at which time they decide that they are going to block my view of McConnell so I can no longer get a clear photo of him on my video camera.  What the hell?  We play this cat and mouse game for about five minutes, where I go from window to window and this big, burly man with a mobile phone in hand plays defensive line-backer in an attempt to obscure my view.  Crazy! 

Then, the magic happens.  Mitch's party is breaking up.  He's done schmoozing with his wealthy donors - 'er - filming his re-election commercial with his constituents - and he makes his way out the back way of my lobby, toward my office.  Who does this guy think he's avoiding?  I have the keys!  I can let myself in to cut him off from going out the back door!  What an amateur!  My heart is pounding, my mind is racing, I run down the alley to the alternative entrance to my office to cut him off so he can't avoid me!  Wham!  He sees that I am playing these silly Tom Foolery games as I enter the exit he had planned to use.  Kerblammo - he turns around, posse in tow and heads back toward the main entrance of my theater, back through the lobby.  He's on the run, I feel so "Michael Moore", playing cat and mouse with an evasive elected official.  Jezuz, what did this guy fear about me, for God's sake?  Zip, I run back down the alley and cut him off again!  This time, his people have prepped him, they'll detract the crazy woman and her annoying kid, just make your way to the running vehicle parked directly outside the door.  All of a sudden, I felt like I was working for TMZ, chasing down Brittany Spears.  The big goon who was obstructing my view earlier comes out and puts his beefy paw in front of my camera - who the hell is he - Sean Penn?  Finally, our opportunity!  "Senator, I want to talk to you about the war in Iraq.  It will just take a minute of your time".  Heaven's screaming, "Do you want my dad to die?  Should I start training for war?"  Holy crap, my heart is going to come out of my chest!  The goon security man yells at my daughter, "We won't have any of that!" to which I replied, "What are you going to do?  This is free speech!”  Then we resume asking the Senator for a minute of his time.  Vrrrrooooommm - his rented SUV halls ass out of my alley - presumably for the first and last time.  I doubt he will frequent our fine independent movies after this encounter.  Damn - I just lost the theater $6.50 for an adult admission!  Oh wait, I also just pissed off Senator Mitch McConnell and his security goons because I wanted to talk about the war in Iraq.  Although Heaven didn't get an answer to her question, "Would you care if my dad died in the war?" (her dad is active duty Navy, I'm a vet), and I never did get that one minute of the Senator's time (I don't have $250.00 for the fund-raiser to which he was rushing), it was a good damned day!

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(UPDATE !!!!!!)

From today’s email, it gets even worse…

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If you've received this e-mail it's because you received my previous e-mail entitled, "A Day in the Life of a Crazed KY Dem".  The astonishing turn of events over the past 24 hours has forced me to write this follow-up.  If you remember, my opening line from the previous e-mail was, "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you were me …"  Okay, belay my last (for you Navy folks).  After reading this follow up, you may laugh, you may cry, but you most assuredly will NOT wish you were me!

After burning the midnight oil writing the story of my day, January 15, 2008, the clouds parted, the world seemed brighter and I felt as though I could never again sleep because of the excitement.  Wow, what a day.  Confronting arguably the most powerful Republican elected official in the world about the war in Iraq, being arrogantly blown off by him, being manhandled by his security detachment (one of whom scolded my child), and getting it all on tape.  As a Political Scientist, it simply doesn't get any better than that.  Well, perhaps it does, but politically speaking, I have never experienced anything better. 

The elation from last night has since turned to trepidation and perhaps a tinge of outright fear.  Little did I know the firestorm that was about to ensue.  Apparently, yours truly, "The Little Vet Who Could", and her pre-teen daughter “The Little Girl Who Did”, rattled the Senator to such a degree that we were the subject of great discussion during Senator McConnell's exclusive fund-raising event in Western Kentucky, towards which he laid rubber out of my theater's alley to attend.  Yet, the fun didn't stop there.  Little did I know, we were also the topic of discussion at many other emergency meetings throughout this tiny town of 25,000 on this cold, blustery Paducah day, January 16, 2008. 

Within the past 24 hours, tens of millions of dollars in funding for all programs previously promised from the Federal Government to our fair city's River Front Revitalization Program have suddenly been moved into the "uncertain column"; at least until the city fathers can prove that crazy rabble rouser "Heather Ryan" is not associated with their programs/organizations.  That's right ladies and gentlemen, in no uncertain terms, I've been informed that my little "escapade" in videotaping the Senate Minority Leader has suddenly put Paducah Pork on the chopping block in Mr. McConnell's book should me and my silly little girl remain in the forefront of Paducah Politics.  Last night, at a dinner attended by my superior, myself, my husband, and my daughter Heaven, I was informed that if I did not cease my political activities in Paducah I would LOSE MY JOB. 

I have to admit, it took me a while to process.  I just didn't get it.  What the hell did I do that was so vile, that was so horrid, that would make the Senator so angry that he would personally ensure that my job is in jeopardy?   What would make him threaten the powers that be that projects aimed to benefit upwards of 50,000 constituents in the Western Kentucky area were two seconds away from dying a pathetic, undignified death in the waste basket of a Senate Committee yet to be determined?  Then, a wise friend enlightened me.  I had him on tape, ignoring a little girl who wanted to know if he wanted to kill her active duty dad in Iraq, ducking into his security guard’s waiting SUV and covering his face, as if I were some putrid, stinking piece of crap that didn't deserve a minute of his time.  Is it possible that this amateur video, shot with my own shaking hand, could bring down the Senate Minority Leader?  As unreal as the possibility may be, the thought of him losing his powerful job loomed large enough for him to put out the word that I need to lose mine.  So, if you heard an enormous sucking sound coming from Western Kentucky this morning, it was the sound of the puckered lips of frightened people here as they inhaled deeply, held their breath and put distance between themselves and me and my crazy pink-haired daughter. 

Chalk this up as the absolutely most bizarre experience of my relatively young life.  On Monday morning I was but a mere Executive Director of an independent movie theater in Downtown Paducah.  My husband, a full time student at the local law school and I rake in slightly more than the median Western Kentucky income of $25,000 a year.  I am truly a nobody in the grand scheme of things.  Yet, once my daughter and I put into practice our First Amendment right to question our senior Senator about his intentions in Iraq, I am deemed public enemy #1.  What the hell is happening here?  Is this still America or did I fall asleep and someone moved my family and our pathetic little two bedroom mobile dwelling to Nazi Germany?  Since when in America can a Senator be frightened so much by a child and her mother that he threatens to ruin her life and/or the lives of 50,000 people in her community, should she continue saying whatever in the hell she desires? 

I'm Speechless folks.  A first for me, indeed.  Speechless and sadly, most likely, soon to be Jobless.  I hope you understand the gravity of this matter.  The most powerful Republican in the world is effectively attempting to destroy the lives of a veteran mother and her family because she was bold enough to ask the question we all want to know, "What are you hiding Mitch?".  I can tell you what I will be hiding, the original video tape.  And I’ll tell you what I won’t be hiding.  The copies.

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Thursday, January 17th 2008

2:15 PM

Huckabee Does it Again





Mike Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas was interviewed by phone on Tuesday by Steven Waldman, Beliefnet's editor-in-chief, and Dan Gilgoff, Beliefnet's politics editor.

Question: Is it your goal to bring the Constitution into strict conformity with the Bible? Some people would consider that a kind of dangerous undertaking, particularly given the variety of biblical interpretations.

Answer: Well, I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal. Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again. I think the radical position is to make a change in what’s been historic.

Ummm, so, in Huckabee's mind, does homosexuality equate to sadomasochism, pedophilia, and necrophilia? If he has this mindset now, how dangerous will he be if elected?


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